Anyone who has been pregnant knows that all of a sudden, other women feel the need to bestow their advice and/or stories upon you. While I'm sure they are doing this out of love for me, I have reached a point where I feel like people might benefit from reading a bit of "pregnancy etiquette" if you will, for talking to a pregnant woman.
So here, in no particular order, is my unsolicited advice for you the next time you're around a pregnant woman.
Please ask before touching the belly. Don't get me wrong here, I love nothing more than to touch a pregnant stomach and to feel a baby moving in there. It's truly amazing. But please remember, to feel my baby, you have to lay your hands on my stomach, which just so happens to reside in my bubble. So before you run up and pop the bubble, just ask. Chances are, I'm going to say yes, but I feel like the polite thing to do is to make sure I'm ok with you molesting me! To be clear, I'm talking mostly about people I barely know here. I love for my friends to feel Aiden any time they want!
Please don't ask me how much weight I've gained. You would NEVER ask me that if I wasn't pregnant, so why would you ask me at a time when I weigh more than I ever have in my life? I'm certainly not going to tell you, so it's a waste of breath anyway.
Please don't make me feel like a bad mom because I'm planning on returning to work full time. It's very hard for me when people assume I'm taking a year off, and then when I tell them I'm not, they assume I'm going to go back part time. Then, when I tell them I'm going back full time, they usually respond with, "Oh, I'm sorry!" Don't be. It's a choice I'm making for myself. In a perfect world, would I rather work part time? Of course! But that's just not going to make ends meet for our little family, and I'm ok with that. You should be too.
Don't encourage me to eat more because I'm "eating for two." Maybe I am, but do you know how big my baby's stomach is? Take a look at your fingernail. That's about it.
Please don't share your labor and delivery story with me unless I ask. For some reason, the people with the worst stories seem to want to share them the most. Give me a break! I've never done this before. I'm already worried enough as it is! I don't need to hear about how it was too late for you to get the drugs, then you pushed for 100 hours, only to end up having a C-section!
Don't try to talk me into natural child birth. Please understand, I have the utmost respect for women who do this. You are incredible! And yes, I know every woman is capable of doing this. However, I also know enough about myself to know that I'm going to want something to ease the pain. And I feel GREAT about asking for it!
From my pregnant friends:
Please don't give me unsolicited advice on how to get rid of morning, afternoon, night, or all the time sickness. If I ask, share all of your remedies. But otherwise, I've already tried everything. Nothing is helping it. I am now using the toilet as a wishing well that it will end soon.
Please don't tell me you're REALLY hoping and praying I'm having a boy just because I already have girls (or vice versa). Just hope I'm having a healthy baby. That's what I'm hoping for! Also, please don't tell me I should hope for a boy/girl because they are so much better/easier/more fun than the other sex, AS IF I have some control over it!
Don't ask how far along I am, and then when I tell you, gasp and say, "Oh wow! I thought you were WAY further along than that!" Seriously? Did you just hear yourself? And please, do NOT make any implication that you wonder if I'm having twins!
I hope I haven't offended anyone with this post. I just felt like getting some of these things off my chest. I already have the daily stress of carrying this baby and doing my best to make sure he's as healthy as possible. Please don't add to the stress level. Thank you!
1 comment:
FLOVE this post! Thanks for sharing!
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