Let's discuss...
As someone looking to connect on Facebook, what are the appropriate parameters for "friending" someone?
Leave the six degrees of Kevin Bacon out of it. If you haven't actually met this person, friending is a little questionable. If you desire to get in touch with a friend of a friend, I suggest emailing them first; explain why you're touching base, and go from there. Old classmates are probably the biggest exception here. Half of the fun of Facebook is checking in on all the people you went to school with. Once again though, if it's someone you didn't actually "hang out" with during your school days, an introductory email is the best way to ensure a future Facebook friendship.
If you're on the other side of the Facebook friending spectrum and are receiving Friend Requests from people you would prefer not to connect with, what is the best way to approach their requests?
A good friend of mine has this posted under his bio: "I only add friends here...it's too much work otherwise"
Writing something to this affect that is visible under public view should suffice. If additional requests come through, it's truly a case by case decision of how to proceed. Options are to simply block said friend requester, deny their request, or email them back. Personally, I'd most likely opt for the first choice.
Another new item for discussion on Facebook is the topic of the Status Update. This little 420 character sharing portal can be really tempting to use as a venting medium, a place to share an inside joke, or to report your day's occurrences. Unfortunately, the rest of us (i.e. your Facebook "friends") don't always love to hear what time you woke up, what you are having for lunch, or why you are so excited it's finally Friday. As suggested by Women's Health, things to avoid in your newsfeed postings should include the following:
- Anything depressing. Going through a rough time? So are most of us. Life is hard, we get it. It's also hard for your friends to offer encouragement online. Save the heart to hearts for people who can actually hold your hand and tell you (in person) that everything's going to be OK.
- Your daily agenda. This is what secretaries and personal assistants were created for.
- Child/ pet news. This is a tough one for me. I, of course, think that I have the cutest, funniest dog around. However, my friends in cyberspace will probably argue otherwise. Instead of discussing the fact that little Tommy now likes to eat fresh pears instead of canned, opt to use FB for posting big exciting milestones.
- People, things, projects, and work that annoy you. A hard lesson learned from a very dear friend, sometimes the slightest reference to work that can be perceived in a negative light can find you in some very serious situations. Play it safe and keep your irritations offline.
- Things overtly political, religious, or opinionated. I know that this may sound counter-intuitive. After all, it is your Facebook page. And I do think it's appropriate to share some things that you feel passionate about. However, the frequent re-posting of articles from every current controversial topic can be a little much.
All I can offer to my point is this: Of any friends I have removed or blocked from my newsfeed, the reasons behind it were simply that their feeds and tweets were consistently over-opinionated and frankly annoying. I don't log into Facebook for a lecture. It's my break from work and the everyday. The sporadic soapbox plea is fine, but please don't let this become a daily occurrence.
Last, I thought I'd close with some new terms concocted by Ad Age to help explaing our new generation's social behaviors. By the time they have been posted, they will most likely already be out of date.
Behold, the 2010 Social Media and Mobile Glossary:
Hash bragger: A person who consistently (and annoyingly) uses hash tags to brag about exploits, exclusive conferences or envious travel. Often uses multiple hash tags.
Faux pocket pas: That all too common (and always embarrassing) situation where your iPhone, Blackberry or Droid phone misfires to someone you'd rather not call -- often in the middle of the night. Can put major stress on relationships. App-happy children are also known to trigger such misfires.
Geo crasher: A person so intent on following a GPS-powered map or app that they can barely walk straight. Inevitably they crash into everyone -- in airports, on sidewalks, in ballroom stalls.
(I have seriously done this MULTIPLE times... oops)
Textgression: The curious migration of adults into youth behavior, habits and practices, especially when it comes to texting. Here our language quickly digresses into comedic short-form. R U w/me?
Top squatter: A person who reads, tries or buys anything at the top of the "best of" or "most shared" lists, whether it's iTunes, apps, Huffington Post, Ad Age or New York Times. This person never slips beneath the fray.
Tag stab: The injury inflicted when someone is inappropriately tagged in compromising, unflattering or just plain stupid social "moments." Mostly unavoidable, unless all cameras are "checked at the door."
Password penitence: The need to continually use the "Forgot my password" function on websites, services and applications-often digital overload. (Courtesy of friend John Stieger, consumer-relations leader at Procter & Gamble.)
Like meister: That person on Facebook who "likes" everything. Borders on compulsive. Even the goofiest photos get likes.
Pal purgatory: When you put a friend request on hold, sometimes indefinitely, via Facebook or Twitter.
1 comment:
So my husband and I had a millennial manners question for you. When your texting and it ends up going back and forth, do you "sign off" with some sort of exit or do you just let the convo go when you are done. In other words, is it like an e-mail where you can respond when you have time or do you need to say something like, "Okay, I'm off to bed now, talk to you later!" :-)
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