Wedding Series: The ceremony is over, now let's party!

The reception holds more time and money than any other part of the the big day. It also holds the most opportunities for an etiquette faux pas. Receptions have quickly gained the unfortunate reputation of being cheesy. With a bad DJ, never ending money dance, and tough chicken parmesan, it's no wonder. However, when done right, the reception can be what it was always intended to be: An awesome party.

Tables and seating:
"Place cards are not put on any of the small tables. All guests, except the few placed at the two reserved tables (bridal party) sit with whom they please. Sometimes they do so by pre-arrangement, but usually they sit where they happen to find friends_ and room." Emily Post's Etiquette 1924

The same still applies today. Formal receptions with sit down dinners and pre-selected menu items do require table arrangements. If this is the case, let the rule be ALL or NOTHING. A little birdie told me of a wedding she recently attended where the majority of the reception was assigned seating, however she and her party were given choice of one of the two "open seating" tables. (That is almost worse than getting seated with dreaded singles or children!)


Of my friends who did opt for assigned seating, most say if they knew then what they know now, they would not have taken the time to do so. This task is labor intensive, waiting on RSVPs, being careful not to seat old flames or rivals near each other. From my observation, Emily hit it right on the nose: let people seat themselves.

Do me a favor:
We've all come away with them: a tulle bag of jordan almonds, engraved picture frames with the wedding date, metal bells tied with ribbon, wind chimes, and bottles of bubbles. Favors have somehow made their way into the wedding fare, and unfortunately the land fills. The truth is they tend to be a waste of money and the tokens of the day usually get tossed. In an effort to define new etiquette, I am willing to take a stand and say: Don't do it!

Guests are happy enough to be part of a couple's special day. Plus, with digital photography and social media, pictures of the wedding can be accessed almost immediately. I think having these photos and memories of the occasion are favor enough.

For those traditionalists who wish to hold on to the wedding favor, my strong suggestion is to think edible. Candy buffets, late night take away snacks, or an upgrade on liquor will most certainly be a welcome treat to your guests.


Decor to last a lifetime:
Flowers are expensive and it may be tempting to go the silk route, as these blooms are sure to "stay fresh" much longer. With the exception of allergies or using Aunt Edna's vintage arrangement for nostalgic purposes, fresh flowers are a must. There are floral options to suit every budget. Even carnations are making a comeback. In another report from the world of wedding no no's, I heard of a wedding that featured real flowers in the ceremony and silk flowers as table centerpieces. The kicker here is that they were for sale to any guest who was interested. Eek! I was left speechless. Poor choices are no excuse for asking your guests to help out with the bad decor.


A few final notes on receptions:

• Please remember to keep the toasts short and sweet (avoid the contagious "open mic night")
• Smashing cake on faces hasn't been funny since 1980
• Don't push people to do anything they are not comfortable with (dancing, drinking, or bouquet catching)
• Speaking of singling out the singles, I would love, love, love to see the garter belt toss classed up a little. I know some people think seeing the groom "roaming" under the bride's skirt for that lacy band using only his teeth is hilarious. I, however, cringe every single time. I think Emily would agree with me, save it for the honeymoon.

Present day photos from Amorologyweddings.blogspot.com