Time is Money

This posting is based on business communications etiquette for today. I'm shooting from the hip without my etiquette books of yesterday. I'm at work, and after coming across a few too many examples of bad manners in the professional sector this week, I felt that something needed to be said.

Let's talk email:

We know to beware of sarcasm and strong statements, as email and text carry no emotions with them. It is hard for readers to detect the tone intended for the message from the writer. Taking this into consideration, I want to take it one step further. FORMALIZE. Unless you are emailing someone with whom you have a strong personal rapport, leave the jokes, "yeahs", "sures", and slang terms out of your communication. This especially goes for sales efforts.

A quality greeting, introduction, and closing will take you far.

Here is an example of what to avoid. I believe it's supposed to be a pitch letter for this person's business. Having never spoken to him before, it unfortunately went straight into my deleted files.

Dear Carina;

Just wanted to give you a gentle nudge and let you know that even if you do not use us as your caterer, you do need to get your venue location booked. October is the prime time of the year for events and you do not want to procrastinate. Again call me and I can help. Yea yea, I know I don't get no respect.

JoseName Removed Catering

Bad grammar, unclear message, and jokes? No thank you. The beauty of email is you can take the time to review and edit your message before sending. In my book, this means no room for error.

Another sales email I received recently was from a publisher. After requesting a media kit, I received SIX attachments. This left me with having to take the time to go through each and every attachment, only to find that most of the information was useless to me, and what I had specifically requested was missing. Email is supposed to be about convenience. If you are creating more work for another, skip it. Either call them, or streamline to create ease (when I was applying for writing positions, the first lesson I learned was not to send my writing samples as attachments. Instead, I created a website and posted everything there. This way I could send one clean link with my cover letter).

My last tip in this post for the modern worker bee is to remember, at work, always put your best foot forward. My good friend Megan once said, "Treat everyday like an interview." Hard words to live by, yes, but something that will provide reward in the long run.

Quote of the Day

The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones. ~Gabirol

I will remind myself this as I continue to hear my office mate next door burp aloud.

photo from thenonconsumeradvocate.wordpress.com

Ring My Bell: Telephone Etiquette

Call Waiting

It is one of my greatest telephone pet peeves when the person you are calling answers their phone with "Hey can I call you right back?"
I can't think of anything more frustrating than being cut off before having the chance to speak. This, my friends is why voicemail was invented. Let the caller leave a message and return their call when you do have time to talk (within one day, please).

Here is what Kate Spade has to say on the subject:

"Unless you are expecting a call, let the second call go into voicemail. If however, you decide to answer a call, it should be done only to inform Caller #2 that you will return the call. If you are in the middle of a serious conversation, don't pick up call waiting." Manners 2004

I would suggest taking this one step further, unless you are waiting on news (from family, pending emergency, babysitter, etc), don't put your current caller on hold to pick up the second call. Caller ID allows you to see who is calling, which enables you to screen whether the second call is important.

It should also be mentioned that this can be applied if you are in an inconvenient location to speak on your mobile (noisy places, at risk to lose signal, etc). I let the call go in to voicemail and quickly send a text explaining the situation and that I will call them as soon as I can. This relays the message without cutting them off mid sentence.

If you feel the all calls must be answered, try to remember that your caller has no idea you have someone else on the line or cannot talk at length at the moment. Allow them to greet you, communicate why they are calling and when there is an appropriate pause for your response, explain that this isn't the best time to talk and you will call them back.

Quote of the Day

"You can pay for school but you can't buy class"

Jay-Z

Amen brother

Allow Me to Introduce

Making proper introductions seemed like the most appropriate place to start for my first post. There are two things worth addressing when meeting or introducing people.

First the handshake.

Emily suggests “ When gentlemen are introduced to each other, they always shake hands.” This is still applicable today; a firm, short, handshake is appropriate. This rule is also fitting for two women who are introduced.

“When a gentleman is introduced to a lady, she generally merely smiles, bows slightly and says: ‘How do you do!’ Strictly speaking, it is her place to offer her hand or not, as she chooses; but if he puts out his hand she of course gives him hers. Nothing could be more ill – bred than to treat curtly any overture made in spontaneous friendliness”

This obviously sounds outdated; however, there is some truth that still stands here. First and foremost the limp hand is an absolute no. Men, women’s hands will not crumble under your strength. Please offer the same firm grip, if not ever so slightly adjusted, to women counterparts. They will survive, I promise. Likewise, for all the ladies out there, a floppy fish hand does nothing for your first impression. Assert yourself. This goes for the half – hand handshake as well. He’s not going to kiss your hand (and if the guy does… don't hesitate, run! you’re treading awfully close to “that guy” water).

Here’s the exception, where Mrs. Post’s tip still applies. If you’re given a flimsy grip from the person you’re being introduced to, match the shake instead of “firming it up”. This would be the “friendly” thing to do by not correcting what you’ve been offered.

What to say during an introduction

I’m not going to delve specifically into what to say… formal introductions in formal settings, and informal when informal… you get the picture.

"When to make an introduction – A small group of people who are sitting together anywhere, partners at dinner, the guests at a house party (or any party), and a late comer to a group of already gathered people."

How many times has this happened to you, a friend joins a conversation you have been having with someone you just met. Clearly an introduction is in order, but what if you forgot the new person’s name?

I find myself here all the time. I’m terrible with names. What's more, I always question whether I heard/ remembered a name right. With a name like Carina, I’ve been called Catrina or Corinne too many times. It’s annoying but I don’t usually correct the person. Although Emily suggests otherwise (“Never introduce one person to another by saying “my friend,” it implies Mrs. Smith is ‘my friend and you are a stranger’”) my suggestion is to present your friend and leave it open ended. Ninety – nine percent of the time, the new person will take the liberty of filling in the gap and introduce themselves. Take this escape as a second chance to remember and repeat their names, never making the slip up with this person again.

Quote of the Day

"Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely necessary"

- Will Cuppy, author of

What Would Emily Do?

The blog has officially begun! The idea came to me a week or so ago, and I haven't wasted any time getting it going.

Our mothers and grandmothers used to attend finishing school and charm classes to learn manners, culture, and communication skills, but we are a generation influenced by texting, social networking, and reality TV shows which portray human behavior at its worst. Although many "rules" have changed over the years, their original intentions still apply.

This blog's goal is to use etiquette guidelines of the past and apply them to today's society. From the coworker burping in the office next door, to the pedestrians lolly gagging on the jogging trail, and the tricky questions we all wonder, like "Do I really have to wait until Memorial Day to wear white?" (my mom would still argue yes) or "Is wearing black to a wedding poor form?" I plan on addressing any and every issue that could stand some clarity and class.

I also want to welcome questions and topic suggestions for posts. Feel free to comment your questions or email me at carina.vanson@gmail.com.